Tuesday, June 14, 2011

New Prediction: Stanley Cup Finals will go seven games!

In a move that has shaken the sporting world to its core, the GM and Head Coach Brad "Spleebz" Bryan of the Vancouver Island Silver Marmots HC has boldly asserted that the Stanley Cup Finals will be decided in Game Seven.  Already in Las Vegas, the prediction has had a cascading effect.  "We just ain't sure we can keep up with the numbers game now!  I mean, this throws our whole racket into the sticks!"

Long known for upsets in a many critical moments in hockey, the Silver Marmots have yet again re-invented what it means to be ahead of the curve, at the cutting edge, and part of the avant garde of hockey.  No one had suspected after the Vancouver's disappointing Game Six loss that the entire Stanley Cup Playoffs could actually be decided in a single game.  "I've been training for this my whole life, and I didn't even know that," remarked a doe-eyed Roberto Luongo.  "I'm glad to hear it though.  I'll be ready.  This time."

"We here at the Silver Marmots HC...  that's an abbreviation for 'Hockey Club' because, you know, we're a club team...  yes, where was I - we here at the Silver Marmots HC pride ourselves in seeing the stretch pass, of where the game is going not where it is," said Bryan in his pontificating style.  "We've been to Beantown, and our guys Tango and Cash laid waste there."  And Bryan did not stop talking.  "I mean, we were the first to foresee that Olli Jokinen would have lip surgery."  When asked what he meant about Jokinen's lip surgery, he replied:  "Just look at him."  Asked what's next for the Silver Marmots HC, Bryan replied that they are looking to develop a new oldtimer hockey training program called "TorresVision":  "People wonder how Torres can see the ice so well, and I say, again, just look at him.  We are working to help people get eyes like Torres -- like, actually get some eyes and put them in your head so that you can open your eyes as wide as that guy.  Imagine playing against a whole team with eyes like him and lips like Jokinen?  Game over."  Clearly there is more than meets the eye with the Vancouver Island Silver Marmots HC.

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