Pages

Friday, August 25, 2006

Jersey Logo Contest



Calling all Marmots and Friends of Woodland Creatures! The Silver Marmots Oldtimers Hockey Club (that's right, we're a club team -- wanna join the club?) is going to be one-upping their (er, our) jerseys. WE INVITE YOU TO SUBMIT AN ENTRY TO HELP US DESIGN OUR NEW JERSEYS. Or, you can just sponsor us. We prefer to keep our sponsorships of an ethical sort, so if you are a tobacco company (you personally), or if you are known to be of questionable character, we will have nothing to do with you. We are Upstanding Folk in Winnie-the-Pooh's sense of the phrase, or the Phrase. We are widely known for the quality folk we flood the ice and bench with. We will not, however, tell you about that quality, or what makes it so. We will accept your submissions for logos.
We've got a line on some killer jerseys, and I think we can expect it will affect our performance. I think we might win some games, I'm just sayin'. But we need to figure out what we look like. Should we start wearing imitation fur on our helmets? Should we have bits of dirt around our mouths? Should we practice our whistling?
As for logos, so far, if it were me (just me) I think we should go with the new logo from the T-Shirts -- featured here, above, in white -- and then have shoulder patches of the original logo -- above in red.
I also think it's time we went public with our nicknames -- putting them on our backs. So give thought to the names of your peers -- choosing one's own seems no good to me. What I'm saying is I'm ready to say good-bye to "bull dog" -- I'm much more of a Jack Russell, if dog's are to have their day. But I'm not ready for "sensei" -- so Sleepy's gonna have to think of something else. But Hammer, Cleaner, even the Pimp -- you guys are set with handles.
For you folks browsing here for the first time, know this: the Silver Marmots are a formidable hockey team. We win all of our games, in the cosmic sense of the word. We need logos that reflect that. Send them to the marmot master brad bryan at: marmot.hockey@gmail.com. The contest winner will receive free tickets (make that season tickets) to the Silver Marmots games. I think Bhandar or Shick might even throw in a ride in the Impala, depending on who has it that week.

Monday, August 21, 2006

defeat?


For a mere $2, Philip has sold me his mask. That might mean that you see a new marmot skating around, one that is much more likely to raise sticks, fire pucks high, and play without care or caution.
Then again, maybe I won't wear it. Philip assures me that the black lines are much more fashionable than the white ones -- judgment I trust. Having worn his gear last Friday night (and having my proverbial butt kicked by Andrew's son Bryn, not to mention continual goals by Alex and Colin), I think Philip knows a thing or two about fashion. Never before have a felt so, um, well, not naked, but, um, vulnerable.
Perhaps this mask will make me a better hockey player.
And the music that goes with this incredible event? Nothing other than Black Sabbath's immortal "The Mob Rules."

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

more kids tossing out face shields!

Reuters - Victoria. Receiving considerable attention these days in the media, face masks and face visors are quickly becoming a thing of the past among amateur hockey players.
"It's all a question of taking responsibility," noted hockey enthusiast Bret Champoux. "I mean, the more of us that protect ourselves with all this crummy equipment, the rougher and more cavalier the play gets, the higher the sticks go. I'd encourage all oldtimer hockey players to consider getting rid of their masks. Goalies too."
Asked whether he agreed with Champoux, Silver Marmot hockey player Brad Bryan said he wasn't sure. "I've just never heard the Cleaner use the word 'cavalier' before. It all comes as a bit of a shock to me. I mean, what's next, we get rid of our jocks?"
"It's all just a matter of keeping yer eye on things out there," replied Champoux when faced with the question of protection of the groin area.
It seems that the wisdom of his words was not lost on one hockey player, Bryan's 6 year old daughter Moira has taken to ditching her visor too. "Why shouldn't I?" she noted in her characteristic tone. "If it is a question of responsibility, I should be encouraged to be responsible from the beginning, no?"
Her father was not so keen, but, being open and forward-thinking he said 'what the heck.' It was a shock for this reporter to learn of Moira's exploits at a recent shinny event, locking up a record 5 goals in the first half of the game. "I would've scored more if I hadn't been hit in the mouth with that stick." Asked whether she still thought it wise to avoid wearing a visor, Moira replied "Sure -- I mean, my mouth, my missing teeth, these are beacons to hockey players everywhere. I'm guessing they'll start playing more responsible hockey. Besides, I sure could see the ice well! I've never roofed so many shots in my life!"
Deborah Curran, Moira's mother, could not be reached for comment.
A final concern, Marmot sensei Brad Bryan said there is a worry with the waste created by all these used masks. "What could we do with them?"
One suggestion, by noted goal-scorer Andrew Macdonald, was to refashion them into small cages that can be used in Vancouver Island Marmot Rescue and Recovery Operations -- and he is putting out calls for people to put together proposals on how these might be manufactured.
"The way I see it," Macdonald opined, "It's win-win. We contribute to more responsible play, we find a use for the used masks, and we save more Marmots."
Asked his opinion, sensei Bryan said, "That sounds like three wins, not two. Hammer's always mixing up the math! I think it is win-win-win."

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Marmots net Ovechkin for Pacific Cup!

Associated Press - Moscow. In a news conference held in Moscow, Russia earlier today, Alexander Ovechkin announced that he would be unable to play any NHL games from January 19-21 in 2007 because he would be attending the Pacific Cup. While details are still to be confirmed, there are rumours that he may take up a position on the fourth line of the notably fierce Victoria Silver Marmots Hockey Club.
"I've always admired that team," noted Ovechkin, not one to mince words. "They embody a hockey philosophy that is truly of the future."
The news conference did turn ugly, however, when someone brought in a marmot in a cage, and Ovechkin lost control. Swinging wildly, he somehow managed to break the cage open and free the animal.
In the confusion that followed, one reporter was able to catch Ovechkin yelling, "No one cages a marmot without suffering the consequences!"
Marmot VP of Personnel, Bret "the Cleaner" Champoux, could not be reached for comment.

Be sure to catch all the action when the Marmots clear the slate at the Pacific Cup next January.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

marmots, the next generation

Associated Press -- Victoria -- With stunning accuracy biologist Warren Fleenor has found that indeed not only is the Victoria Silver Marmot flourishing, there is a new generation of young marmots poised to take over the hills and rinks of Vancouver Island.
"We like what we see out there," Fleenor remarked in between shifts. "The younger generation of marmots coming up through the ranks are not those boisterous boys of yesteryear, but girls -- I have no doubt that soon the Marmots will be predominantly female, and that hockey, the main ritual in which Marmots engage, will become all girls." He points us to the offspring of a well-known alpha marmot from Victoria, Moira marmot, and says she's practically famous already.
See the story on the next generation in the Esquimalt News: http://web.bcnewsgroup.com/portals-code/list.cgi?cat=23&paper=10&id=699844
Fleenor's remarks have been backed up by the numbers witnessed by Andrew Macdonald, part of BC Hydro's team that has kept an eye, and more than eye, on marmot populations. Known to go amongst marmots and play their games, Macdonald notes that the younger generation is just a bit more haywire. "There's hope for the Marmots on Vancouver Island," Macdonald notes, looking skyward, hands together in prayer.

Marmot Hockey for 2006-07 season

Victoria Press -- The upcoming season promises to be the best yet for the Victoria Silver Marmots Oldtimers Hockey Club. "We're a club team," says Brad Bryan, the current sensei for the team. "We've always played a special brand of hockey. Tooth-like, nibbly, tough in corners, you know."
Currently scheduled to brave their usual 10:40 pm slot at Archie Browning Arena on Tuesday nights, the Marmots are hopeful for some earlier ice that may be on the horizon. "We have contacts; we have sources; we have our ways."
When asked about potential new draft picks Kyle Shick and Kevin Bhandar, Bryan maintained an erie silence. "We're still in discussions with them. Neither one of them has expressed interest in the 1974 Impala we offer as a signing bonus, and only one of them can have it." It could be a long, cold season for the Impala, says Bryan.
Watch of upcoming posts on scheduled games, marmoteer trivia, and other friendly woodland fun.