Victoria, Associated Hockey Press -- This past Tuesday night at the Archie Browning Arena, and in true Marmot style, the Victoria Silver Marmots Oldtimers Hockey Club ferreted out the Victoria Kuriers, and gave them the bidnis. Cowering in the corner after the game, high scorer for the Kuriers, Mark Gowans, remarked "I've never seen a fight-or-flight instinct in an animal like I did tonight. Those men and women are animals! They must have felt cornered or somethin'!"
Also known for the tenacity of his lectures in the law school, "Zone" Tollefson dished out his famous no-holds barred style, garnering 3 goals for the Marmots. "Drive the net! Driv the net! Uber Alles!" cried Zone following the game. Yzerwoman's skills at stocking the cooler were not overlooked, and the Marmots celebrated in true Marmot fashion following the rout. Indeed, so did Victoria, as Wednesday was a notably sleepy day following the game, and the riots slowed in the streets towards dawn.
"If it wasn't for the snow, we would have had a very bad situation on our hands. It was too cold to tip cars, and hard to come by matches. This town sure loves the Marmots!" said Constable Hugananimal for the Victoria Police Detachment. "Our team, the Blueliners, doesn't even play them any more -- they're that good!"
Stay tuned for more Marmot shenanigans over the holidays.
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