silver marmots oldtimers hockey club

New Prediction: Stanley Cup Finals will go seven games!

2011-06-14T11:03:00.000-07:00

In a move that has shaken the sporting world to its core, the GM and Head Coach Brad "Spleebz" Bryan of the Vancouver Island Silver Marmots HC has boldly asserted that the Stanley Cup Finals will be decided in Game Seven. Already in Las Vegas, the prediction has had a cascading effect. "We just ain't sure we can keep up with the numbers game now! I mean, this throws our whole racket into the sticks!"

Long known for upsets in a many critical moments in hockey, the Silver Marmots have yet again re-invented what it means to be ahead of the curve, at the cutting edge, and part of the avant garde of hockey. No one had suspected after the Vancouver's disappointing Game Six loss that the entire Stanley Cup Playoffs could actually be decided in a single game. "I've been training for this my whole life, and I didn't even know that," remarked a doe-eyed Roberto Luongo. "I'm glad to hear it though. I'll be ready. This time."

"We here at the Silver Marmots HC... that's an abbreviation for 'Hockey Club' because, you know, we're a club team... yes, where was I - we here at the Silver Marmots HC pride ourselves in seeing the stretch pass, of where the game is going not where it is," said Bryan in his pontificating style. "We've been to Beantown, and our guys Tango and Cash laid waste there." And Bryan did not stop talking. "I mean, we were the first to foresee that Olli Jokinen would have lip surgery." When asked what he meant about Jokinen's lip surgery, he replied: "Just look at him." Asked what's next for the Silver Marmots HC, Bryan replied that they are looking to develop a new oldtimer hockey training program called "TorresVision": "People wonder how Torres can see the ice so well, and I say, again, just look at him. We are working to help people get eyes like Torres -- like, actually get some eyes and put them in your head so that you can open your eyes as wide as that guy. Imagine playing against a whole team with eyes like him and lips like Jokinen? Game over." Clearly there is more than meets the eye with the Vancouver Island Silver Marmots HC.

Marmots find new 4th line grinder...

2010-11-02T17:21:00.000-07:00

TSN News Flash -- Sports Reporter Tom McNamara [Victoria] -- Embattled Flames GM Daryl Sutter vowed to "go back basics" today, when he announced the trade of Oli Jokinen to the Tier II Old Timers Victoria Marmots for a Sherwood PWP composite stick with a Paul Coffey "top shelf" toe curve, a pair of leather goalie pads (mis-sized) worn by butterfly legend "Pi-lo", and a vintage High Rollers jersey autographed by former junior b prospect Kyle "Animal" Shick ("now that's a REAL hockey name" said Sutter).

Sutter explained that the move was intended to show the exasperated Calgary fan base that he wasn't just going to "do nothing" while the Flames struggle to score goals, execute a defensive strategy or show any sign of life, so instead he opted to do "as close to nothing" as possible. The Victoria Silver Marmots HC Management team declined to comment on the trade, only to say that there was surely some game left in the old boy.

The top shelf stick is intended to inspire a certain high cap defenseman -- "who shall remain nameless"-- to fulfill his offensive potential, said Sutter. The vintage pads are a reminder that "you need more than good tools to get the job done." Finally, added Sutter, the High Rollers jersey is a symbol of how "creative playmaking and desire to go to the dirty areas" is a catalyst for success.

For his part, Jokinen said that he was excited to go to Vancouver Island, where he could "start with a clean slate" on a team with a rich tradition of late night drinking and pushup contests. "They've done it all in that locker room. I think I could definitely learn something from such a veteran group."

2010-11 Season Schedule...

2010-09-07T16:26:00.000-07:00

Is now HERE!

Old School

2010-01-24T20:47:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow night, Monday night, at Pearkes Gold, at 9 pm, the Silver Marmots expect to get a little old school, to start taking old stubbies, clinking them together, and chanting. We want the Warriors to come to play...

WARRIORS... COME OUT TO PLAAY-AAAYYYY!!!!

2009-10 Season Schedule is Here!

2009-09-17T16:11:00.000-07:00

Tuesday September 1: Scrimmage
Tuesday September 8: Scrimmage
Tuesday September 15: Scrimmage
Tuesday September 22: HOME: Marmots vs. Warriors T 3-3
Tuesday September 29:AWAY: Knuckleheads vs. Marmots @10:30 pm VRC W 8-4
Friday October 2: AWAY: Old Chiefs vs. Marmots @ 9:45 Pearkes Green W 9-2
Tuesday October 6: HOME: Marmots vs. Jets W 12-5
Thursday October 8: AWAY: Titans vs. Marmots @ 10:30 Pearkes Gold W
Tuesday October 13: Scrimmage
Friday October 16: AWAY: Bay Leafs B vs. Marmots @ 10:30 at Bear Mountain W
Tuesday October 20: HOME: Marmots vs. SOFA Kuriers W
Tuesday October 27: HOME: Marmots vs. Romance Rockets W
Tuesday November 3: Scrimmage
Monday November 9: AWAY: Warriors vs. Marmots @ 9:00 Pearkes Gold L
Tuesday November 10: Scrimmage
Tuesday November 17: HOME: Marmots vs. Grey Leafs L
Tuesday November 24: Scrimmage
Tuesday December 1: Scrimmage
Saturday December 5: AWAY: Jets vs. Marmots @ 10:30 Pearkes Gold W
Tuesday December 8: HOME: Marmots vs. Bay Leafs B W
Friday December 11: AWAY: Grey Leafs vs. Marmots @ 10:30 Bear Mountain L
Tuesday December 15: HOME: Marmots vs. Esq. Kuriers W
Tuesday December 22: Scrimmage
Tuesday December 29: HOME: Marmots vs. VMHA Nov / Init. Coaches W
Tuesday January 5: HOME: Marmots vs. Grey Leafs L
Monday January 11: AWAY: Romance Rockets vs. Marmots @ 9:15 SOFMC W
Tuesday January 12: Scrimmage
Thursday January 14: AWAY: SOFA Kuriers vs. Marmots @ 10:30 Archie Browning W 15-2
Friday January 15-Sunday January 17: The Pacific Cup - Loss in the Finals 7-6 (SO)
Tuesday January 19: Scrimmage
Friday January 22: AWAY: Bay Leafs B vs. Marmots @ 10:30 Bear Mountain W 5-2
Monday January 25: AWAY: Warriors vs. Marmots @ 9:00 Pearkes Gold L 5-2
Tuesday January 26: HOME: Marmots vs. Romance Rockets L 3-2
Tuesday February 2: HOME: Marmots vs. Old Chiefs W 4-3
Tuesday February 9: HOME: Marmots vs. Knuckleheads
Tuesday February 16: Scrimmage
Tuesday February 23: HOME: Marmots vs. Esq. Kuriers
Monday March 1: AWAY: Romance Rockets vs. Marmots @ 9:15 SOFMC
Tuesday March 2: HOME: Marmots vs. Warriors
Friday March 5: AWAY: Grey Leafs vs. Marmots @10:30 at Bear Mountain
Tuesday March 9: HOME: Marmots vs. Bay Leafs B
Tuesday March 16: HOME: Marmots vs. Titans
Tuesday March 23: HOME: Marmots vs. Bay Leafs B -- CANCELLED - HIT THE BIKES
Thursday March 25: AWAY: Esq. Kuriers vs. Marmots -- CANCELLED
FRIDAY MARCH 26-SUNDAY MARCH 28: RIFF RAFF!
Tuesday March 30: Final Scrimmage: and Party
Thursday April 1: AWAY: Esq. Kuriers vs. Marmots @ 10:30 Archie Browning -- CANCELLED
APRIL 22-24: KELOWNA!

The Season... continues...

2008-10-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

Here it is gang: our schedule. Our home games are at 10:40 pm at Archie Browning on Tuesday nights. Notice there are a bunch of scrimmages. I'll try to also post results here and there... bookmark it.

Victoria Silver Marmots Oldtimers Hockey Club: 2007-08 Season
Tuesday Sept. 2: Scrimmage
Tuesday Sept. 9: Scrimmage
Tuesday Sept. 16: Home vs. SOFA Kuriers L 0-5
Tuesday Sept. 23: Scrimmage
Friday Sept. 26: Away vs. Old Chiefs @ 9:45 on Pearkes Green W 3-2
Courtenay Tournament: Friday Sept 26 to Sunday Sept 28 2L 1W
Tuesday Sept. 30: Home vs. Kurier Kanucks W 4-2
Saturday Oct. 4: Away vs. Goldstream @ 9 pm on Pearkes Gold L 8-6
Tuesday Oct. 7: Scrimmage
Wednesday Oct. 8: Away vs. SOFA Kuriers @ SOFA -- CANCELLED. W 10-0
Tuesday Oct. 14: Home vs. Titans W 4-2
Tuesday Oct. 21: Home vs. Goldstream L 5-2
Monday Oct. 27: Away vs. Saanich Warriors @ 8:15 Pearkes Green L
Tuesday Oct. 28: Home vs. Bay B Leafs L
Tuesday Nov. 4: Scrimmage
Tuesday Nov. 11: Scrimmage
Thursday Nov. 13: Away vs. Titans @ 10:30 on Pearkes Gold L
Tuesday Nov. 18: Scrimmage
Tuesday Nov. 25: Home vs. Old Chiefs W 4-3
Tuesday Dec. 2: Home vs. Titans L
Tuesday Dec. 9: Home vs. Kurier Kanucks W
Tuesday Dec. 16: Home vs. Saanich Warriors L
Tuesday Dec. 23: CHRISTMAS PARTY!
Monday Dec. 29: Away vs. Grey Leafs @ 9:15 on Archie B W
Tuesday Dec. 30: Scrimmage
Tuesday Jan 6: Home vs. Bay B Leafs L 6-3
Tuesday Jan 13: Scrimmage
Wednesday Jan 14: Away vs. SOFA Kuriers @ SOFA, 10 pm L
Pacific Cup: Jan 16-18
Tuesday Jan. 20: Scrimmage
Tuesday Jan. 27: Home vs. Grey Leafs T 5-5
Tuesday Feb. 3: Scrimmage
Friday Feb. 6: Away vs. Old Chiefs @ 9:45 on Pearkes Green W
Monday Feb. 9: Away vs. Bay B Leafs @ 6:55!! On Panorama B L
Tuesday Feb. 10: Home vs. Saanich Warriors WIN! 4-0
Thursday Feb. 12: Away vs. Titans WIN 5-3
Tuesday Feb. 17: Scrimmage
Tuesday Feb. 24: Home vs. SOFA Kuriers
Tuesday March 3: Home vs. Old Chiefs
Wednesday March 4: Away vs. SOFA Kuriers CANCELLED!
Tuesday March 10: Scrimmage
Tuesday March 17: Scrimmage
Monday March 23: Away vs. Saanich Warriors @ 8:15 on Pearkes Green
Tuesday March 24: Home vs. Grey Leafs
Thursday March 26: Away vs. Kurier Kanucks @ 10 pm on Archie B
Sunday March 29: Away vs. SOFA Kuriers @ 9 pm on SOFA
Tuesday March 31: Scrimmage
Thursday April 2: Away vs. Kurier Kanucks @ 10:30 on Archie B
April 3-5: Riff Raff tourney at Panorama. Details coming!

Zen Smokey

2008-07-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

This year the Marmots will move the karmic energy to the next level, employing all manners of cosmic training to their retinue. At the monthly tailgate BBQ, expect to find resident monk Bret Champoux saddling up to the grill asking Hammer the crucial Zen question: "Can you make me one with everything?"

The Marmots expect to win in the afterlife, too. For further inspiration, check out the Zen Meat Garden.

This is the year we go for the Cup

2008-07-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

A sign of clear audacity, the Victoria Silver Marmots Oldtimers Hockey Club is going to play again this coming year.

"We will not be stopped," says the Cleaner, a behind-the-scenes manager and the de-facto coach of the team. "This is our year to make sure the other teams know that we are no longer 'endangered' or simply some kind of mutant animal-hockey player. This year other teams will think of us more like terrifying rabid animals. And we'll play a system, too. Like the Red Wings."

Not-so-de-facto coach Brad Bryan claimed that the Marmots have a whole new form for the upcoming year. "We've really overhauled our playing style. This year we're looking at more BBQs, perhaps a variety of eats. We're looking at an old bus. Some big changes that will affect every aspect of our game."

Stay tuned for schedules and events.

Marmot Christmas Skating Party!!!

2007-12-14T15:48:00.000-08:00

Hello friends of the Marmots!

We are having a skating party on Sunday December 23 at Archie Browning Arena from 2:40 - 4 pm, and we hope you will come! The skate shop will be open for skate rentals, and in one of the dressing rooms we will have snacks, warm beverages, maybe even something festive. Then, there will be a family hockey game from 4 - 5 pm for those interested. It will be helmets and skates (minimum) for adults (skate shop has a pile of helmets too), and kids we recommend also knee pads and elbow pads - and we have some extra if need be. We'll try to keep family members all on the same team!

Please RSVP and let me know if you can attend. Cost is 5$ per adult or 10$ for families (including extended family: so if you bring your parents, sisters, brothers, cousins - you can get a serious deal here!)

It is going to be SOME SERIOUS FUN!!!

Beer Prayer

2007-12-06T20:55:00.000-08:00

From Dylan Steinbok's collection of wisdom... he gives this in honour of his ribs, Sleepy's neck, and those crazy Paramedics.

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and the lager.
Barmen.

Psychological Training for Marmots

2007-12-06T16:56:00.000-08:00

The Marmots are ready for the next level in hockey training: mental domination. How many times have we seen a Marmot heading to the net, only to choke in the finish? All Swedish, no Finnish! But that is about to change.

Attention Marmots: Here is your new training manual. Get tough, head up, wait for the sign. Next practice we will have some "anti-choking" drills. Like, maybe a shootout.

Marmots find Sportscaster, now need Network

2007-11-23T11:13:00.000-08:00

Victoria, AP -- In an rare move of high-profile negotiation, the Victoria Silver Marmots Oldtimers Hockey Club has acquired former SportsCenter Anchor Craig Kilborn.

"Now we're in the market for a network to host us. We've been winning a lot of games, and getting on Network Television might enhance our fan base enough to make the beer companies notice," commented Brad Bryan, current Manager/Player for the Marmots. "We've been darn close to getting a beer rep on the team for almost two years now, and we're getting desperate. If we have our own anchorman and Network show, we figure the beer companies will practically throw the beer at us."

Not everyone on the team shares Bryan's excitement. Bret Champoux, an enforcer defenceman for the Marmots, has recently been on a fairly tight training regime, and thinks that the focus on beer is perhaps misplaced. "I really only have one beer, if any, these days after the game. Let's face it, it's not that healthy. We should consider getting Tazo Tea, or even O'Douls. It's really regressive."

Jim "Mummy" Swan, one of the more compassionate, caring players on the team - hence his moniker - feels caught in the cross-fire on this. "More goddam beer, I say! And if the Cleaner is too much of a wussy to stand it, well he can take his Tazo and ref the game for all I care." With punctuating clarity, Swan impressed upon this reporter the need for tolerance of all views.

Still, the recruitment of Kilborn bodes well for the Marmots cruise for beer, since Kilborn's ill-fated experience at SportCenter has been chalked up to reports of a perhaps overweening fondness for the beverage. See this report from CNN on Kilborn's "Gin-Soaked Experience."

"I'm sure the Cleaner will come around on this one. Even when he drinks tea, he can still put down more than any of us," prophesied Bryan, and then he waxed historical: "The jury is out until the beer arrives. Hasn't it always been that way?"

Stay tuned.

Grey Leafs and Roadhogs the latest Victims of Silver Marmot Rage

2007-11-16T12:25:00.001-08:00

Victoria, AP -- With only three losses this season, the Victoria Silver Marmots have been devastating their foes of late. The Grey Leafs fell to the VSMs 5-1, with the Archie Browning Arena Zamboni driver noting that he only needed flood half the ice. The Roadhogs gave the Marmots a much tighter game, but felt the Marmot bite with a 2-0 loss.

"It's the new jerseys," claimed Jim "Mommy" Swan. "We used to be good, but we were never this good. It's all confidence. Sure, the guys are still doing 50 or 60 crunches and Russian thrusts before the game, but it's all different now."

Bret "the Cleaner" Champoux agrees. "Me, I've never been a real joiner. Played my own style of game, y'know? I mean, I see a guy taking unfair advantage, and I get in there. Play my game, have a beer, go home, see? But when I saw these jerseys, I knew then and there that my time as a Marmot would extend into perpetuitation. [Someone named "Waldo" yells from the other side of the dressing room: "perpetuity". Cleaner replies: "f*** off."] I stepped up right then and there and said 'I want to be the jersey guy.'"

Now that the Cleaner is the jersey guy for the Marmots, there are questions about whether other Marmots will step up with similar signs of solidarity and Marmot devotion. Grammar clarifier Greg "Waldo" Oikawa was not to be left behind: "I'm heading down to U-Brew, and I want to bring in some of that cheap-ass tasty brew so we can pay down those beauties!" Similar chants and cheers could be heard.

But all of this is background to the new style of play that seems to be gracing the Marmots this year. "I don't want to speak too soon, but I think this year could be our year at the Pacific Cup," claimed Tim "Mits" Ewanchuk. "We've got two recent import champs on the team, and they now know what it means to take a team all the way. I even heard that Sleepy was the top scorer and MVP for the whole tournament! Read it in Hockey News! And Bryan, well, we all saw him face off against Cliff Ronning in that Alumni game. Pretty amazing. I think we're a shoe in."

True enough, Mike "Sleepy" Cronquist and Brad "no nickname" Bryan moonlighted for the dreaded Screefers at the Lumberjack Cup in early November, bringing home the coveted CARHA Labatts Blue jackets. "They're nice," commented Sleepy.

"I love the jackets, but I just love the way Sleepy lit that tourney up! I mean, that's a team of Lloyd's treeplanters from way back, and now we're winning hockey tournaments. I just wish Sleepy would tell me what I gotta do to get him to light it up for the Marmots like that," wondered Bryan, clearly flummoxed. "If he wants development permits or to curry favour with some city council somewhere, he should just say the word. I want to see him play like that - and I'll do what needs to be done."

The Marmots square off in a scrimmage next week, working on their infamous, deadly, and very secret "Plan B." Only a few teams have seen it, but oldtimer hockey fans everywhere should get ready to experience Plan B at the Pacific Cup. "We'll be laying it on thick," promised Bryan.

New Jerseys!

2007-11-02T13:44:00.000-07:00

Attention Marmots: the new jerseys are here!!!

And here:

To be unveiled, officially, at a private screening on Tuesday, and then on ice against the Roadhogs next Thursday... ! I'll find some socks.
-- Bull Dog

SOFA Kuriers are on notice!

2007-10-30T11:58:00.000-07:00

Victoria, Associated Hockey Press -- In what may be the first outburst of panic in the oldtimer hockey community, Dave Kurier, spokesperson for the Save-On-Foods Arena Kuriers (affectionately known as the "SOFA Kuriers") called a press conference today to dispel rumours that his team was going to receive a thumping at the hands of the Marmots tonight at Archie Browning Arena.

"I just want to be clear: we are afraid of these guys, but we won't give up," commented Kurier.

The admission of fear was all the Marmots needed to send them into waves of pre-game "super-training." A concept developed by one of the team's tough guys, Jim "Basil McRae" Swan, super-training involves state-of-the art game preparation while at work.
"I've actually been doing it for years - it's nice to now have a goal for all of my work-a-day aggression," noted Swan. "My co-workers used to be irritated at the way I beat the hell out of the water station; now they egg me on and ask me what kind of punishment I'm planning on dishing out on the ice. It's been huge for me."

"It's been huge for the team," notes Brad Bryan, the head marmot. "I used to see guys come into the dressing room all unfocused, asking 'who are we playing?' and then casually catching up with old friends. Now, with the help of McRae's at-work violence program, many of our guys come to the rink ready. Sometimes the other team won't even come out on the ice!"

The exception, Bryan noted, was the Blueliners Hockey Team -- comprised of the Officers of the Victoria Police Force. When asked how the Marmots fared against the Blueliners, Bryan was less forthcoming.

"They beat us up. I would've called the cops, but cripes, we wuz playin them!"

Bret "the Cleaner" Champoux was more to the point. "The way they played made me want to be a police officer. The power!"

Don't miss the action tonight as the Marmots attempt to terrorize the Kuriers off the SOFA at Archie Browning at delightful hour of 10:40 pm, PST.

Former Marmot has shot with Salmon Kings

2007-08-24T17:03:00.000-07:00

Victoria -- Marmot Press
Former Marmot spare Drew Davis has come into his own of late. "Things were going well for me at U-Vic, but it wasn't until I began sparing for the Marmots that I really moved my play up to the next level." While UVic will want to take credit, anyone familiar with Marmot hockey knows where Davis's success comes from.

Having had a successful season with the UVic team as captain, Davis was thinking of going to law school after graduation. That is, until a fateful game with the Marmots against the SOFA Kuriers. Davis played in the home of the Salmon Kings, the SOF Arena, and at that moment knew he just had to play there again.

"I guess you could say I was lit up," says Davis of the night the Marmots cleaned the Kuriers 7-2. "I just knew I had to go for it."

Stay tuned as Davis makes a try for the Salmon King lineup this fall.

Support the Marmots with new Marmot Gear!!

2007-08-07T13:51:00.000-07:00

Official Blowout Pre-Season Sale!!! Everything Must Go!!!

Check out the new Silver Marmots Hockey Club Store!

Get deals on everything from mugs to hats to t-shirts. Real Marmots wear the colours.

Marmots 10 KM Run!

2007-04-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

Ok Marmot Runners, here are the goods!

Let me lay some ground rules.

1. I will be running in full hockey gear, and hope you will follow my lead. Gorilla suits are also welcome.

2. Sprinting will not be tolerated, unless it is Jim Swan and he's intent on rubbing out one of the Bay Leafs (see number 6 below).

3. We should meet at Bernie and Bear's place on Powell Street at about 7:30, no later. At that time I'll pass out running chips, numbers, and shirts. I'll be sure that they've been washed so that you don't have to run in something that stinks mildly of "new shirt fungicide," or whatever they soak those things in. Of course, you are free to run in hockey gear or in your favourite, sleek running tackle. Bernie and Bear's place is on Powell between Michigan and Toronto Street in James Bay. They're half way up on the West side of the street. Head down Douglas toward the water, right on Michigan, left on Powell, second house on the right past the big parking lot.

4. I have team shirts for 7 of us, and I can lend mine to someone if they want to run in a team shirt, as I'll be wearing something else. There are also three without Marmot logos - for those registering after March 17. See numbers 1 and 3 above regarding fashion.

5. Remember, this is for fun, and how do you spell "fun"? W-I-N!

6. The Bay Leafs have officially challenged us in this, and they have 13 runners. Even though they are very nice guys, and some of them are even ok at hockey, I really don't want anyone to show mercy to any one of them.

7. Recommended for Saturday: work with the medicine ball, visualization of rubbing out Bay Leafs, plenty of ice cream.

8 More info is at: http://www.tc10k.ca/index.html, and the map is attached.

9. The race starts at 8 AM at Southgate and Quadra.

10. Party at George's at 1 pm.

See you Sunday,
-- Brad

2007-04-12T09:58:00.000-07:00

Marmots buried in Grey Leaves

2007-03-15T11:49:00.000-07:00

Victoria - Associate Hockey Press -- Full of piss and vinegar, the Silver Marmots cruised to the ice ready for a second victory over the Grey Leafs this season -- only to find the cagey, aged squad to be ready for a fierce battle. Within in minutes, the Marmots began the fearful whistle that signifies that they're in trouble. Grant Smith and his dad skated circles around the Marmots, combining for 6 or 7 goals, and with one goal post that was so nice that referee Barry Little simply couldn't resist calling it a goal. Members of the Grey Leafs were seen weeping at the injustice of it all, yet couldn't bring themselves to call the goal off.

"I know it hit the post," cried Head Marmot Brad Bryan. "I was standing in the crease looking like a dumb-ass when it happened."

"I saw that too," noted Mel 'Yzerwoman' Tacoma. "I mean, that Bryan stood there like a dumb-ass. I didn't see the shot."

"I saw it too," says Barry Little. "Sure, it hit the post. But damn it was a nice play! And it hit the post so squarely I simply had to call it a goal."

Bryan asked Ref Little why the post he hit earlier on a breakaway didn't count for a goal. "Well Christ Brad - you had a breakaway and you deked Gillen and still hit the post! I almost took away one of your goals for that. At least the Grey Leafs worked for that post."

Bryan still maintains that the score should have been 6-2 for the Grey Leafs. "It's a question of dignity. I mean, getting beat 7-2 is bad. 6-2 isn't as bad. And, had I scored, it would have been 6-3, giving the impression that we were in the game. Which we were."

Assistant Team Manager Bret 'the Cleaner' Champoux wasn't sure about Bryan's logic. "He had Gillen down, all he had to do was put the puck in the net. I question how badly Bryan wants the Marmots to win." The comment created considerable stir, and there are rumors that the Cleaner is positioning himself to take over management duties for the Marmots in the coming season. "In fact, Bryan may be good for the Marmots, but a guy misses a goal like that and you have to wonder. I mean, does he play with grit? When was his last penalty? At least I get in there to ensure justice."

The Marmots will have to wait until the 2007-08 season for another chance to settle the score with the Grey Leafs. During the Spring training sessions, Grey Leaf Captain Ron 'top shelf"'Dumonceaux will skate with the Marmots. "If he thinks he'll find out some of our secret plays, he's mistaken," said Bryan.

"Yeah," agreed the Cleaner.

"If the Marmots have secret plays, they sure do a good job of hiding them. I certainly didn't see them Tuesday night," replied Top Shelf Dumonceaux.

Silence from the Marmots.... Stay tuned!

Pilons suffer 7-1 loss, feel Marmot teeth!

2007-02-23T12:13:00.000-08:00

Victoria -- CP. Last Monday night the Victoria Silver Marmots Oldtimers Hockey Club laid waste to the Pylons, dishing out some serious damage despite some very dirty -- let's be honest, COWARDLY -- hockey played by the 'lons. Our own Waldo posted a 4 goal game, and despite having no beer after the game the Marmots rallied. Let's hear it for the Marmots! Strength and Honour!!!

etiquette

2007-02-01T20:24:00.000-08:00

Seems we Marmots, while brutalizing opponents, have a hard time populating our own scrimmages and practices. Our own Magic-Man (a.k.a. Ross Nanton) sleuthed this one down for us - a real treat. Some rules for shinny -- whether you're a regular whose paid the dues or a drop-in sub. See these 10 rules for drop-in hockey. I don't actually notice anyone offending any of these - which is because this team is AWESOME!! That's right. The Marmots rock. We're more of a concept-team. If I had to add one thing to that list, it would be (yawn) that if you don't show you bring 12 nice cold cans of Lucky Lager for Herr Bulldog. Oh, that would be nice. A man can dream.

In other news, the SOFA Kuriers face the Marmots tonight, Thursday Jan. 31 at Archie Browning at 10 pm. It promises to be a killing -- as the Marmots have a tight squad lined up, with a guest appearance by one of the original Marmot founders from the summer of 2004. The one, the only, the legendary Warren "Lucky" Fleenor. A man who likes Lucky Lager perhaps only slightly more than Sensei Bull Dog, but plays as though he's never touched the stuff. "Top shelf, that's what we expect from him," says Sensei, the go-to guy regarding marmotalia.

The game promises to be especially good, as Teri "Roggie" Winchester will play her last regular season game with the Marmots tonight before heading off to play semi-pro hockey in the Shanghai ESL League. "It'll be a step up in terms of competitiveness, but with a little beer I'm sure I'll keep them hopping." We know you will, Teri!

Pilons: Run for your Lives!

2006-12-19T11:09:00.000-08:00

Composite sticks, dryland training, road rage, Christmas shopping. These are just some of the elements that combine to bring us what promise to be a routing of the Pilons tonight at Archie Browning arena. Give yourself the pleasure of hearing the sounds that come with fleeing Pilons:
Run for the Bench!

Kuriers Receive Marmot Bite!

2006-12-07T10:32:00.000-08:00

Victoria, Associated Hockey Press -- This past Tuesday night at the Archie Browning Arena, and in true Marmot style, the Victoria Silver Marmots Oldtimers Hockey Club ferreted out the Victoria Kuriers, and gave them the bidnis. Cowering in the corner after the game, high scorer for the Kuriers, Mark Gowans, remarked "I've never seen a fight-or-flight instinct in an animal like I did tonight. Those men and women are animals! They must have felt cornered or somethin'!"

Also known for the tenacity of his lectures in the law school, "Zone" Tollefson dished out his famous no-holds barred style, garnering 3 goals for the Marmots. "Drive the net! Driv the net! Uber Alles!" cried Zone following the game. Yzerwoman's skills at stocking the cooler were not overlooked, and the Marmots celebrated in true Marmot fashion following the rout. Indeed, so did Victoria, as Wednesday was a notably sleepy day following the game, and the riots slowed in the streets towards dawn.

"If it wasn't for the snow, we would have had a very bad situation on our hands. It was too cold to tip cars, and hard to come by matches. This town sure loves the Marmots!" said Constable Hugananimal for the Victoria Police Detachment. "Our team, the Blueliners, doesn't even play them any more -- they're that good!"

Stay tuned for more Marmot shenanigans over the holidays.

Jules Winfield hits the ice...

2006-10-31T15:52:00.000-08:00

Victoria, AP -- The sleepy little town of Victoria is about to bear witness to an incredible hockey event, as legendary hockey coach Jules Winfield is rumoured to be hitting the ice with the Victoria Silver Marmots Hockey Club tonight at 10:40 pm at Archie Browning Sports Complex.

"We're just honoured and overjoyed that Winfield can do this for us," says Brad Bryan, current trainer for the marmots. "My job is tough; marmots are single-minded creatures, and sometimes we need that little extra toughness out there. I for one will be happy to go through the grueling drills that Winfield will dish out. All-too-happy."

Winfield's powers came to the limelight recently in a celebrated interview with Chris Chelios, where Chelios remarked on the man's humanity and the spiritual guidance that he offers young players. (See Chelios on Winfield)

"I'm confident that Winfield's general demeanor can give us the spiritual guidance we need," remarked Bret Champoux. "I for one am looking forward to the 'Inglewood Jack' drill -- and hope that trainer Bryan doesn't mind being an example."

Roadhogs bite dust, experience Marmot treads

2006-09-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

Reuters -- Victoria. In what was almost not a very close game, the Marmots emerged victorious YET AGAIN. It is a little known fact that the Marmot, while the natural enemy of owls, eagles, and dogs, is no push over. Wild boars can alarm a Marmot, as can hogs that venture onto the road.

Lest there be any doubt: read the truth about marmots!

Not wanting to rest on their laurels however, you can see the Marmots practicing breakouts next Tuesday night at Archie Browning at 10:40 pm. It is important to practice making the fur fly.

Victory Victoria

2006-09-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

Victoria -- Associated Press. Well, to everyone's surprise, the Marmots are blazing out of the gates this season. With two straight wins over excellent teams, the Victoria Silver Marmots Oldtimer Club -- they are a club team -- has already doubled the number of wins of their first season. In perhaps the best game they've ever played, the Marms surged past the SOFA Kuriers in a blazing 8-4 victory. The incredible Kyle "Bucket" Shick posted his first hat trick of the season, and Alex "Tube" Solunac had a record number of shots. Teri "Rifle" Winchester showed why her namesake by rifling her glove up for a number of killer kurier shots.

In the next game the vicious Marmots trounced the Gray Leafs 6-1. Firing puck after puck at goaltender Mark Gillen, even his well-trained sweeps were no help against the eager Marmot crew. Teri was solid yet again. And, Andrew "Hammer" Macdonald nailed two goals in one of the nicests shifts in Marmot history. He, Chris "Zone" Tollefson and Bear "Bear" Pauly worked on some set plays off the faceoff -- and they worked!

Stay tuned for more Marmot action as the Marmots host the Kurier Canucks this Tuesday September 19th at 10:40 pm at Archie Browning Memorial Arena. It promises to definitely not be a repeat of the 18-2 pounding the Marms received two years ago. In fact, some say it is PAY BACK TIME.

The Struggle Continues...

2006-09-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

In case any of you thought that Don Cherry, or I for that matter, am full of it, a recent study out of Britain suggests that wearing a bike helmet may actually pose a risk. The study shows that drivers are much more careful around cyclists who do not wear a helmet -- thus TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for their actions while driving. Likewise, in hockey, that beloved game that brings you to this site, sticks and rough play are generally less when everyone involved wears less protective gear. There is a modicum of protection that one would want -- but remember those days on the pond wear the only things you brought were skates and a stick? No helmets, no shin pads, no (gulp) cup. Just jeans, a toque, mits, and a warm coat. And if anyone broke the rules by slashing or raising sticks,... well, ... let's just say there are social pressures of equalization. That is: we all end up taking more responsibility for ourselves and others when we recognize that we MUST TAKE CARE. Protective gear, extra rules, better officiating: these are the classic stock responses of any societal breakdown that evidences a systematic lack of care.

Check out the thoughts of this fellow blogger on this:
http://blogs.smh.com.au/science/archives/2006/09/wearing_a_helme.html

It's good stuff. Let's keep this issue alive on and around the ice. Soon the Marmots will be the only team out there in jeans and toques!

Jersey Logo Contest

2006-08-25T15:15:00.000-07:00

Calling all Marmots and Friends of Woodland Creatures! The Silver Marmots Oldtimers Hockey Club (that's right, we're a club team -- wanna join the club?) is going to be one-upping their (er, our) jerseys. WE INVITE YOU TO SUBMIT AN ENTRY TO HELP US DESIGN OUR NEW JERSEYS. Or, you can just sponsor us. We prefer to keep our sponsorships of an ethical sort, so if you are a tobacco company (you personally), or if you are known to be of questionable character, we will have nothing to do with you. We are Upstanding Folk in Winnie-the-Pooh's sense of the phrase, or the Phrase. We are widely known for the quality folk we flood the ice and bench with. We will not, however, tell you about that quality, or what makes it so. We will accept your submissions for logos.
We've got a line on some killer jerseys, and I think we can expect it will affect our performance. I think we might win some games, I'm just sayin'. But we need to figure out what we look like. Should we start wearing imitation fur on our helmets? Should we have bits of dirt around our mouths? Should we practice our whistling?
As for logos, so far, if it were me (just me) I think we should go with the new logo from the T-Shirts -- featured here, above, in white -- and then have shoulder patches of the original logo -- above in red.
I also think it's time we went public with our nicknames -- putting them on our backs. So give thought to the names of your peers -- choosing one's own seems no good to me. What I'm saying is I'm ready to say good-bye to "bull dog" -- I'm much more of a Jack Russell, if dog's are to have their day. But I'm not ready for "sensei" -- so Sleepy's gonna have to think of something else. But Hammer, Cleaner, even the Pimp -- you guys are set with handles.
For you folks browsing here for the first time, know this: the Silver Marmots are a formidable hockey team. We win all of our games, in the cosmic sense of the word. We need logos that reflect that. Send them to the marmot master brad bryan at: marmot.hockey@gmail.com. The contest winner will receive free tickets (make that season tickets) to the Silver Marmots games. I think Bhandar or Shick might even throw in a ride in the Impala, depending on who has it that week.

defeat?

2006-08-21T16:44:00.000-07:00

For a mere $2, Philip has sold me his mask. That might mean that you see a new marmot skating around, one that is much more likely to raise sticks, fire pucks high, and play without care or caution.
Then again, maybe I won't wear it. Philip assures me that the black lines are much more fashionable than the white ones -- judgment I trust. Having worn his gear last Friday night (and having my proverbial butt kicked by Andrew's son Bryn, not to mention continual goals by Alex and Colin), I think Philip knows a thing or two about fashion. Never before have a felt so, um, well, not naked, but, um, vulnerable.
Perhaps this mask will make me a better hockey player.
And the music that goes with this incredible event? Nothing other than Black Sabbath's immortal "The Mob Rules."

more kids tossing out face shields!

2006-08-16T13:51:00.000-07:00

Reuters - Victoria. Receiving considerable attention these days in the media, face masks and face visors are quickly becoming a thing of the past among amateur hockey players.
"It's all a question of taking responsibility," noted hockey enthusiast Bret Champoux. "I mean, the more of us that protect ourselves with all this crummy equipment, the rougher and more cavalier the play gets, the higher the sticks go. I'd encourage all oldtimer hockey players to consider getting rid of their masks. Goalies too."
Asked whether he agreed with Champoux, Silver Marmot hockey player Brad Bryan said he wasn't sure. "I've just never heard the Cleaner use the word 'cavalier' before. It all comes as a bit of a shock to me. I mean, what's next, we get rid of our jocks?"
"It's all just a matter of keeping yer eye on things out there," replied Champoux when faced with the question of protection of the groin area.
It seems that the wisdom of his words was not lost on one hockey player, Bryan's 6 year old daughter Moira has taken to ditching her visor too. "Why shouldn't I?" she noted in her characteristic tone. "If it is a question of responsibility, I should be encouraged to be responsible from the beginning, no?"
Her father was not so keen, but, being open and forward-thinking he said 'what the heck.' It was a shock for this reporter to learn of Moira's exploits at a recent shinny event, locking up a record 5 goals in the first half of the game. "I would've scored more if I hadn't been hit in the mouth with that stick." Asked whether she still thought it wise to avoid wearing a visor, Moira replied "Sure -- I mean, my mouth, my missing teeth, these are beacons to hockey players everywhere. I'm guessing they'll start playing more responsible hockey. Besides, I sure could see the ice well! I've never roofed so many shots in my life!"
Deborah Curran, Moira's mother, could not be reached for comment.
A final concern, Marmot sensei Brad Bryan said there is a worry with the waste created by all these used masks. "What could we do with them?"
One suggestion, by noted goal-scorer Andrew Macdonald, was to refashion them into small cages that can be used in Vancouver Island Marmot Rescue and Recovery Operations -- and he is putting out calls for people to put together proposals on how these might be manufactured.
"The way I see it," Macdonald opined, "It's win-win. We contribute to more responsible play, we find a use for the used masks, and we save more Marmots."
Asked his opinion, sensei Bryan said, "That sounds like three wins, not two. Hammer's always mixing up the math! I think it is win-win-win."

Marmots net Ovechkin for Pacific Cup!

2006-08-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

Associated Press - Moscow. In a news conference held in Moscow, Russia earlier today, Alexander Ovechkin announced that he would be unable to play any NHL games from January 19-21 in 2007 because he would be attending the Pacific Cup. While details are still to be confirmed, there are rumours that he may take up a position on the fourth line of the notably fierce Victoria Silver Marmots Hockey Club.
"I've always admired that team," noted Ovechkin, not one to mince words. "They embody a hockey philosophy that is truly of the future."
The news conference did turn ugly, however, when someone brought in a marmot in a cage, and Ovechkin lost control. Swinging wildly, he somehow managed to break the cage open and free the animal.
In the confusion that followed, one reporter was able to catch Ovechkin yelling, "No one cages a marmot without suffering the consequences!"
Marmot VP of Personnel, Bret "the Cleaner" Champoux, could not be reached for comment.

Be sure to catch all the action when the Marmots clear the slate at the Pacific Cup next January.

marmots, the next generation

2006-08-08T15:40:00.000-07:00

Associated Press -- Victoria -- With stunning accuracy biologist Warren Fleenor has found that indeed not only is the Victoria Silver Marmot flourishing, there is a new generation of young marmots poised to take over the hills and rinks of Vancouver Island.
"We like what we see out there," Fleenor remarked in between shifts. "The younger generation of marmots coming up through the ranks are not those boisterous boys of yesteryear, but girls -- I have no doubt that soon the Marmots will be predominantly female, and that hockey, the main ritual in which Marmots engage, will become all girls." He points us to the offspring of a well-known alpha marmot from Victoria, Moira marmot, and says she's practically famous already.
See the story on the next generation in the Esquimalt News: http://web.bcnewsgroup.com/portals-code/list.cgi?cat=23&paper=10&id=699844
Fleenor's remarks have been backed up by the numbers witnessed by Andrew Macdonald, part of BC Hydro's team that has kept an eye, and more than eye, on marmot populations. Known to go amongst marmots and play their games, Macdonald notes that the younger generation is just a bit more haywire. "There's hope for the Marmots on Vancouver Island," Macdonald notes, looking skyward, hands together in prayer.

Marmot Hockey for 2006-07 season

2006-08-08T14:17:00.000-07:00

Victoria Press -- The upcoming season promises to be the best yet for the Victoria Silver Marmots Oldtimers Hockey Club. "We're a club team," says Brad Bryan, the current sensei for the team. "We've always played a special brand of hockey. Tooth-like, nibbly, tough in corners, you know."
Currently scheduled to brave their usual 10:40 pm slot at Archie Browning Arena on Tuesday nights, the Marmots are hopeful for some earlier ice that may be on the horizon. "We have contacts; we have sources; we have our ways."
When asked about potential new draft picks Kyle Shick and Kevin Bhandar, Bryan maintained an erie silence. "We're still in discussions with them. Neither one of them has expressed interest in the 1974 Impala we offer as a signing bonus, and only one of them can have it." It could be a long, cold season for the Impala, says Bryan.
Watch of upcoming posts on scheduled games, marmoteer trivia, and other friendly woodland fun.